Don't Call Me Crazy
by LonelyApple
Summary: She's the crazy girl from nowhere, he's the spoiled boy who doesn't know what hit him. Two very different personalities collide causing a chain reaction; affecting not only themselves, but the people around them. Welcome to their story. I don't know where it will take me, but I hope you'll join me for the ride. M for language and later lemons.


**Only my second fic, but I'm excited. I have no idea where this will take me, but I hope it will be fun. **

**OoOo**

**Chapter 1: New Addiction**

**BPOV**

I watched in slow motion as the crowbar came into contact with the glass. It shattered and split into millions of pieces. I smiled and caressed the metal object that was currently my new source of entertainment. "I want to name you Bert." My eyes flickered back to the window. It had been offending me since I had moved in. That made me angry. White, plain, ordinary. See? Offensive. This way was more fun.

"Why the hell would you break your window?" I stared unblinking as Jasper glared at Bert. My hands unconsciously cradled him to my chest.

"It was being mean. The window had no character. Kind of like a goldfish; so dreary. So I killed it with Bert."

When I was six I had a goldfish. It was lame.

"Do you kill everything that offends you? And don't you have a goldfish?" Jasper asked unfazed by my crowbar's name. He was used to me by now.

"If I killed everything that offended me the world would end due to my lack of interest in all things normal. I have a turtle named Gary." I kind of blurted out.

"So you don't have a goldfish?" Didn't I just say that? God, this conversation was stupid.

"Did you know that you can't sneeze with your eyes open? I tried to open my eyes, but I couldn't." I scratched at the mosquito bite on my upper thy. Damn pests. "Yeah I'm going to get a screen for my window so bye Jasper."

The weather was cold. I shouldn't have worn a dress, but this one was new and made my skin look nice so I put it on. The black lace that stopped at mid thy made my legs look long, and the looped belt that went with it was fun.

I chucked Bert into my room through the broken window and walked away without a second glance.

Why were things so 2D?

**OoOo**

EPOV

"Here you go, that'll be 25 dollars and 17 cents. This is a coupon for 10% off your next purchase."

The fake blonde batted her short lashes at me as she tried to lift the can of paint off of the counter. I sighed and shook my head.

"Jeff! Help the customer out and bring the paint to her car." The older guy, whom I believed to be batshit crazy, stared at me with a vacant expression, and then slowly moved his eyes to the blonde in front of me. He got an odd look on his face and approached her.

"Whoa, lady chu need help? We can get down and," he paused for a second to get even closer to the girl. "Take a ride on the popsicle." He thrusted his hips awkwardly and did a weird dance.

I was about to save her from the life scaring Jeff was about to give her when the bell chimed; signaling the newest customer's arrival. I was the only coherent one here so I went to go greet them.

I don't even know why I worked here. Paying off college was easy because my parents were loaded. I was probably doing it because Esme was making me. Something about the "real world." Jeff was horrible company and couldn't keep a conversation going. His mind was too hard to follow, and he was always talking about his nonexistent dates with the 'ladies.' Then there was Annie. She was our resident Asian nerd and the only other person that I ever saw during my shifts besides Tanner. She spends most of her time rearranging things in the lamp section. Tanner's Home and Appliance, where I worked, was like a smaller version of Home Depot.

I looked back where Jeff was still dancing around. He hadn't noticed that the girl had taken the paint and left.

Yeah, I really need to quit.

"Oh wow! They have a selection of crowbars! Maybe I should buy another one so Bert isn't so lonely." A feminine voice chimed from behind me. Bert? The hell?

What I saw when I turned around was definitely not what I was expecting.

Dark, almost black, hair knotted at the top of her head with a few curly strands framing her face. White, porcelain skin disappearing behind a short, black lace dress that cut off at mid thy; exposing her long legs. Her heart shaped face with big, brown doe eyes framed by long lashes. She had dark eyeliner around her eyes. It wasn't too much, but enough that her eyes were the first thing you noticed on her face. Pink lips that were in the perfect smile. Happiness was radiating from her features.

Did I just groan? Doesn't matter. She was gorgeous. "Is there anything I can help you with?" Shit, I didn't miss the innuendo there. My voice came out a little rough.

"Do you guys sell brown crowbars? W-whoa." Her eyebrows shot up. "Screw Bert's new lady friend. I have got to get me one of those." She whistled eyes boring into mine. Damn she was so hot. No, hot wasn't the right word. Beautiful? Yeah, she was beautiful.

"Whatcha looking for, gorgeous?" Whoops, that one just popped out.

"I forgot." She bounced at little closer and smiled. "Hi! I'm Bella!"

"Edward." I stuck out my hand, but she ignored it and embraced me. Sweet vanilla and honeysuckle enveloped me. Having her in my arms, whilst surprising the shit out of me, was the nicest fucking feeling.

Edward Cullen, meet your new addiction.


End file.
